I Don’t Know

I don’t know what to say.
I don’t know what to do or what to feel.

Sometimes I don’t know how to fall asleep and other times I don’t know how to wake up again.
And even if I knew, I’m not sure I want to.
I just want to stay in this world of dreams, where I control everything and nothing is ever harder than it seems.

I am at peace here. I am happy.

But it’s not real.
Eventually, reality will come knocking and force me awake.

I hate that.
I hate the endless number of responsibilities, the mountains of worries, and the shackling limitations.

I want to be free and to fly, yet I am tied to reality and to life.

I know how to cut my invisible bonds, but it would cost me my ability to dream.
So do I stay on this earth and face reality if only to keep on dreaming, or do I free myself at the cost of never dreaming again?

I don’t know.

 

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