Divorces can be messy, and those are often the ones we hear about and see in films and TV-series. They can, however, also be quite peaceful and somewhat serene, like my parents’.
Had I experienced a messy divorce between my parents I probably would have written about that, but I try to keep my blog positive and fortunately I can thus tell about this particular experience. Granted, what I’m about to share with you is not all sunshine and rainbows. There are downsides to divorces for sure! It’s just, in my experience the pros outnumber the cons. It’s that simple.
I can picture it clearly. My mum and dad are sitting on the sofa holding hands trying very hard not to cry. My big brother, Jonas, and I (being 14 and 11 at the time) are sat on the other sofa listening to what they say. I cannot remember what they said, but I can remember how I felt. I remember feeling like the sky came tumbling down upon my world.
My brother told me a couple of years later, that he had seen it coming. That he had felt the tension in the house and the relationship between our parents changing. For me it was a complete shock, and I had not seen it coming at all. I think what I felt in that moment was the closest I’ve ever come to a broken heart.
What followed was even harder. Not long after, my dad moved out of the house and in with his sister and her family. It was the weirdest thing, suddenly not having my dad living with us. Luckily he was a teacher at my school, so I still got to see him every day.
We had to put the house up for sale as neither of my parents could afford to live there by themselves and about six months later, we were moving. At this time, my dad was living in a small flat in town, where pets were not allowed, and my mum didn’t want to bring our dog with her, so we had to give her to some distant family.
Well, I can tell you that this was when I felt I had hit rock bottom. My parents had split up, my childhood home had been sold, and my dog had been given to another family. Of course the great thing about hitting rock bottom is that the only way left to go is up. And so up I went!
My mum found her current boyfriend, Johnny, right before we moved out of the house, so they’ve been together for some years now. With him came a couple of step-brothers. Simon is a couple of months younger than me, so he was 11 when we first met, and his younger brother, Victor, was about 5 at the time.
I have had some amazing times with these two boys and their dad. They are amazing!
After we moved out of the house we lived just outside of town. I did not like living there, but fortunately we didn’t have to stay in that house for very long.
My mum’s boyfriend bought a small house in town, which my mum, my brother, and I then moved into. My mum still lives there and so will I when I move back to Denmark.
While my dad still lived in his small flat, my brother and I spent every second weekend there. The flat consisted of a joined kitchen and living room, a bedroom, a small room and a bathroom. It was not ideal for 3 people for longer periods at a time. So my dad quickly moved into a house in another town a couple of minutes away.
Because he now had more space, my brother and I spent more time with him. However, we had never spent one week at our mum’s then one week at our dad’s, like many others did it. I guess you can say that we “lived” with our mum and “visited” our dad.
After having lived there for a while my dad decided to get a dog again, so be bought a female black labrador puppy, whom we named Ziggi.
It was also around this time my dad found his current wife, Rikke. With her came yet another step-brother named Kristoffer. He is 6 years younger than me, so he was only about 7, when we first met. He and his mother are both amazing people, that I am forever grateful to know and have in my life.
Rikke is the best step-mother anyone could ever wish for! I love her so much, and I love seeing how happy she makes my dad. I couldn’t imagine life without her.
Unlike my mum and Johnny, my dad and Rikke got married and live together.
Besides a son, she also brought some animals with her, and when she and my dad bought a house together there was room for all of them. It was a really big house!
When we had most animals at once, we had 3 dogs, 2 cats, 2 horses, and a bunch of stick insects. There was never a dull moment. However, this house became to big and too rowdy for them, so they decided to sell the house and one horse, and to give the two big dogs away to families who were better equipped to give them the life they deserve.
They then bought a smaller house in town, which is a lot closer to my mum’s house, so visiting my dad is super easy now that I don’t move back and forth anymore. My brother moved out some time ago as well, so they don’t need as much room, anyway.
Before we moved into the new house, Rikke gave birth to a beautiful girl, Lia, and if you want to read more about her, read my post about becoming a big sister at 17.
In the house we now only have a cat and a dog, and they are lovely. The cat can sometimes be a bit of a diva, but that’s okay. My dog, however, is the sweetest thing ever! She loves cuddles, and when you hold her like in the photo below, she leans into your hug. And when you put her down, she stays there for a little while as if hoping you’ll pick her up again.
My parent’s divorce started a chain of events that let to me meeting many new fantastic people and widening my horizon in many ways. I have learned so much from these people, and the space for love in my heart has grown to a size I didn’t know was possible. These people have enriched my life, and I wouldn’t change one bit.